Of all the things in life I have learnt to believe in, hope is on top of the list. Hope makes the world go around; it’s light when there’s darkness, and a source of joy where there are only tears.
I have cousin, Ananya*, who is a year younger to me. She loves to give me a cute rakhi every year.
It all started when I was in Vizag during my articleship. She had quit her undergraduate studies in Hyderabad and returned home. I sensed her pain one day, and realised she is clinically depressed. So I decided to take care of her and not give up on her, even though it seemed like she had.
It was hard. She had countless scars on her hand and had attempted suicide several times. She had frequent breakdowns, and I used to stay up all night talking to her even though it was peak audit season. My focus was Ananya, even though I had to prepare for my CA finals.
I believe depression is neither a sin, nor do the depressed act the way they do because they love to. To get better, they need love and energy because most of the time they are emotionally drained. It’s better to give them hope than to sympathise with them because they always feel worthless; if they think they are troubling us by asking for help, they just won’t come forward.
I was determined to make Ananya fall in love with life again, and she is so much better now! She goes to therapy and is under consistent medical supervision. At first I was worried about how the family will react considering the stigma surrounded mental illness. But they have all emerged as strong pillars of Ananya’s life.
Of course, they did break down as well, a couple of times – it is difficult to watch someone you love suffer so much. However, I was determined to never let her see me grow weak, which gave her strength to seek me out when she needed it. All I did was be there, listen and empathise. I never blamed her or her circumstances. And Ananya’s struggles gave my existence purpose.
*Name changed